Muddling Through Motherhood

Of the 7 babies from our ante-natal group, Rowan is the only one who has not had (and never will have) any formula. I am expressing (as little as possible) to cover my days at work (8.30-3.30ish twice a week) although Rowan will actually go most days with very little milk, I like to send some in case he wants it. Now we’re starting what we hope will be the process of night weaning. We’re starting by David settling Rowan without a feed, or offering him a bottle of expressed breast milk (EBM) during certain hours of the night. This will help us work out whether Rowan is genuinely hungry (in which case he’ll take the bottle) or, as seems to be the case so far, if he can be settled without the milk.

A friend asked me why I was expressing rather than using formula. Pretty much all of Rowans baby friends now get formula during the night so that feeds can be shared, and mums can go back to work, as I am. My answer was “Why would I?” Why would I give my son the scientifically modified milk of another mammal when for the sake of a few minutes pumping, he can get the milk that is made specifically for him? Why would I spend money and have to boil and cool the formula in the middle of the night when David can just pluck a bottle out of the fridge and run it under the hot tap for a bit?

This is not meant to be a criticism of those who decide to give formula. Many people understand the risks of formula feeding and understand how to prepare their bottles properly (and I think some of those risks will be reduced once the gut is closed – the babies are all on solids anyway). If they’ve made an educated choice I have no issue with it. But I’m taking the route that is closer to what is natural than any other (and if I weren’t working I wouldn’t feel the need to be sleep training him any more than we already have because its only when I try to use my brain that I notice just how tired I am – so I wouldn’t need anyone else to give Rowan milk)

It just seems sad to me that use of formula is so commonplace and accepted, that even people who breastfed successfully for their baby’s first few months, without using formula, start to use it at a time when their babies are naturally starting to reduce how much milk they’re drinking! And sad that I’m the odd one out. Its not an issue of poor support for breastfeeding at this stage, its just the acceptance in our society of what is technically an inferior food for our babies – as a convenience.

And if you know I’m talking about you – either because I really am, or because I could be describing you, I’m not judging you, I’m just finding the whole thing strange. Particularly the fact that I feel the need to point out I’m not judging!